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▣ Lend me your hope for a while

posted by Svetlana Kim on April 6th, 2009 at 11:46 PM

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I cherish every moment I spent with Regina. She came from NYC for a day on business. We met at 8:00a.m. sharp at the Brown Bag. Regina had a piece of fruit and a cup of coffee. I had a small cup of oat meals and green tea.

We talked about all: fashion, shoes, business, kids, life, travel, trust, and friendships. All in one hour! And before I was ready to go Regina asked me if I shared her poem with YOU. I said that I will be happy to share with my fabulous friends and loyal readers.
This is Regina's speech at my first book reception at the Woman's National Democratic Club in Washington, D.C.


Lana


Thank you, Master Rhee, for introducing Taekwondo to the U.S. As a result of your efforts, my brother, whom I use to beat up on a daily basis, began taking your classes and after that I never beat him up again.

I met Lana at an event in New York in the summer of 2006 at the MAKE MINE A MILLION campaign. When she approached me, I realized her name was Russian and I began to speak to her in Russian, to which she replied, "Hello, my name is Svetlana Kim. Would you like to make a donation of $12,000.00?"

I looked at this bold woman and something in her eyes made me pull out my credit card and say sure. Meanwhile, Edie Fraser was telling me no, I could make a lesser donation.

However, something in Svetlana?s eyes made me want to help her. Here was this bold woman asking me for a huge sum of money for an organization I had knew very little about. But looking into her eyes--which I believe are the windows of one's soul--made want to do it.

Upon my arrival into the office the following day, I informed my husband, who was also my business partner, about what I had done. If anyone knows me, they know I do not part with money easily unless it is for a charitable organization that I trust.

Needless to say, he flipped, thinking I had totally lost my mind. I politely informed him that I had not, and then he proceeded to ask me why I would not give him $12,000.00. I told him, ?Oh, honey, because you're married to me??

I believe God brought Lana into my life for a reason. I did not realize it then, but she was to become one of the people who would not let me go, along with Edie and Loula, who stood by me and refused to give up on me.

You see, on July 16, 2007, I lost my beloved husband in a construction accident. I own several companies and one of them specialized in high-end roofing. Upon his death I shut everyone out of my life and became a recluse. My brothers, who are Pentecostal ministers, my mother, my 67 first cousins--none of them had access to me.

I removed myself from the world and did what I called sofa therapy. I would lie on the sofa all day and when my children came home, I would get up. My children said, ?Mom for three months the food you've made tastes like cardboard.? I snapped at them, "You're surviving, aren't you?"

At this point in my life I had trapped myself within the insanity of my mind and refused to come out. I did not eat, interact, or work, and I stayed that way.

But Lana refused to give up on me; she would call me, send me cards over the Internet, and call me some more. She would tell me how Edie and Loula missed me and wanted to see me, tell me how much I meant to all of them.

She would tell me her stories about leaving Russia penniless and coming to the U.S. and how people helped her. She would tell me about her friend Edie and her husband Dimitry. She would call just to say hi and to ask me to come to China with her; she would send me invites to all of her and Edie?s events. Each time I declined.

What she did not know then was that I no longer wanted to live. I loved my children but my love could not help me because the pain was so great. What she did not know was that I was at the abyss, looking down. But because of her kindness and support, I stepped back.

Her warmth and love kept me from leaving this world. God put her in my life to tell me of her struggles and how she overcame each one. To you Lana:

POEM: I WILL HAVE TO CHECK TO SEE IF IT IS COPYRIGHTED. IF SO I WILL WRITE YOU ONE AS I DO WRITE POETRY.

Lend me your hope for a while;
I seem to have misplaced mine.
Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily, pain and confusion are my
companion--I know not where to turn.
Looking ahead to future times does not bring forth images of renewed hope.

I see troubled times, pain-filled days and more tragedy.

Lend me your hope for a while;
I seem to have misplaced mine. Hold my hand and hug me; listen
to my ramblings. Recovery seems so distant; the road to healing
seems like a long and lonely one.

Lend me your hope for a while;
I seem to have misplaced mine.
Stand by me; offer your presence, your heart and your love.
Acknowledge my pain; it is so real and ever present.
I am overwhelmed with sadness and conflicting thoughts.
Lend me your hope for a while; I seem to have misplaced mine.

A time will come when I will heal and I will share my renewed hope and love
with others.


With love and blessings,

Lana


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Svetlana

Q&A with Svetlana Kim

Lana Kim has many gifts. She speaks several languages and is an accomplished writer, successful businesswoman, and community activist. Her greatest gift is one that she shares with all of us - her story of hope, survival, and success.

In this exclusive interview, the author shares with us her personal insights into her life and her journey from the former Soviet Union to the United States.

1. Your whole life involves travel. How has this affected you?

I don't feel that travel, as a source of change and growth, is something we naturally seek out. The history of my family is a history of travel. My people, the Koryo Saram, left Korea for Siberia in search of a better life.

In 1937, the history of my family and the history of our travel began when Joseph Stalin deported 200,000 Koreans to Central Asia. This was not a journey of choice, but a journey of survival. My grandmother, White Pearl, survived this brutal forced exodus. When I left Leningrad for the United States, it was a journey of choice and of survival. I have needed to travel to reach my goals. Because I survived my early journey, travel for me today is a way to enrich my life and experience all that this world offers.

2. White Pearl (your grandmother) is your guiding star and inspiration for your book. How has her journey inspired your journey?

My grandmother is a generous, funny, warm, fearless, and resilient soul. And yes, thankfully, she is still alive. She survived Joseph Stalin's forced deportation in 1937 from Far East Russia to Central Asia. She was just a young girl of 22 then, and I can't imagine the horrors she saw. So many people died during that journey.

During a particularly hard moment for me in 1991, when I had to decide whether to use my return ticket to Leningrad or take the chance of my life and stay in America, I thought about her life. She didn't have the choice to go home. She didn't have any choices. I had already made the hardest choice by leaving everything and coming to America. I was alive and no one was trying to harm me. In fact, I had only encountered generous people who- whether through pity for me or just the sheer incredulousness of meeting someone alone who spoke no English, helped me.

When I was a girl, White Pearl always told me that I was born with good fortune and luck. I believed her then and I believe her now.

3. Is your book an immigrant story or the story of someone achieving the American dream?

That's a good question. I feel my story is both. I believe in tenacity, the importance of reinventing yourself, and always, always learning new things. You also can't take criticism or bad luck personally. America is a land of immigrants and we have all survived by finding something inside of us or something that we can pass on to our children to help them achieve our dreams even if we can't.

I can say it certainly wasn't my dream to work as a cleaning lady. But I never dreamed of being a stock broker either. As the narrator of my own story, I may not be the best judge of the type of story this is. I hope readers will find my story and the lessons I've learned inspiring. I encourage all new immigrants to have faith, dream impossible dreams, and to know that dreams do come true. I'm living proof of that.

4. How many times have you returned to Russia? What was your first visit back like?

I've returned to the former Soviet Union three times. The first time in 1996, next in 2003, and most recently in 2007. My book describes my trip back to Leningrad in 1996. At that time I noticed dramatic changes in the city's vibe. Many young people, well, people younger than me, I was 28 then-spoke English. There were new restaurants with English menus and stores with European fashions and food items. I also noticed that everything was more expensive and polluted. Sadly, with development and progress comes problems.

5. Everyone in the United States is proud to have a nationality. Do you consider yourself to be ethnically Korean or Russian?

My people are called Koryo Saram. This translates to "Korean person" in Russia. Today there are nearly 500,000 Koryo Sarams still in the former Soviet Union. All of my family still lives there - four generations. That includes my grandmother, White Pearl, my parents, me, and thirty-three nephews and nieces. Many people are surprised to learn that I don't know how to speak Korean. My book explains how the Soviet government eradicated our language. I do speak Russian, German, and of course, I'm proud to say, English--American style.

6. Now that the huge accomplishment of finishing your book is done, what's next for you?

I still can't believe that I'm done. I'm also taking time to promote White Pearl and I and applying my energies to my volunteer passions. This fall I will be volunteering at the Calvary Women's Shelter in Washington, D.C.

Giving back to the community will always be part of my life. While I was going through the legal proceedings to determine my refugee status, I promised myself that if I won my case and became a citizen I would always work to help others. That for me is a greater accomplishment than finishing the book.

7. You write in your book that your life has been full of serendipity and luck, starting from your chance encounter at the bakery. But clearly you haven't relied on luck or waiting for opportunities. What do you rely on?

I truly believe in serendipity but I also believe in my intuition. Life presents everyone with opportunities. Some are worth chasing, others are not. I've relied on my intuition more than anything else. And I feel I've inherited this from both my grandmother and mother. Early in life, my parents encouraged me and my father taught me to seize every opportunity, no matter how small they are.

One of those opportunities that I write about is my decision to move to Washington, D.C. When the call came, I simply said yes. I knew it was the right move at the right time. It wasn't easy moving across the country and leaving so much behind, but the move has changed my life once again. I've met the most incredible people, made new friends, and started writing this book.

8. Every step that you have taken in your career has led you to another milestone. It is as if you are climbing a mountain. What peak does writing this book represent?

Everyone I met after moving to Washington told me to write a book about my life and experiences. With so many people giving me the same advice, I knew that I needed to give it some serious thought. Writing this book has opened a floodgate of emotions. It has been one of the hardest tasks I've tackled, but I've also met some amazing people, like my friend Ron Powers. This book also gave me a great reason to travel back to Russia and interview my inspiration, White Pearl. I've learned a great deal about myself and my family.

But any author will tell you that the hardest part of writing a book is letting it go and letting other people read it. What will they think of the story and of me? Then my book was accepted to the Maui Writers Conference and it gave me the confidence to continue with the manuscript. I now have the joy of sharing this book with the people I write about. This book is a tribute to the generosity and kindness of everyone I've met in America.

Conclusion
Writing seems to come naturally to Lana. She has been blessed with a heart to feel deeply and a mind to remember what is important. With so many interesting experiences from her life to draw from, expect Lana to author many more inspiring works.

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